


Bad news and hot baths

by Lonelylittlepone



Category: Homestuck
Genre: AU, Dirk has brain cancer, Jake is a doctor in training, M/M, Most of the characters are only sorta mentioned this is strictly dirkjake, Sadstuck, cancer au, marrige propsal
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-07-21
Updated: 2015-08-11
Packaged: 2018-04-10 11:39:13
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 6,251
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4390424
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lonelylittlepone/pseuds/Lonelylittlepone
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dirk finds out from rather upsetting news. He decides to tell Jake in person, despite the heavy rain.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> S l a y m e
> 
> I found a promt and I had to.
> 
> "Person A walks through the rain and shows up on Person B's door step to tell them their cancer is now terminal"
> 
> I can write another chapter if this gains interest??

This wasn't exactly what you, the amazing Dirk Strider had in mind when you used to talk about your"grown up life" as a kid. There was no brain cancer back then, and you had no one like Jake around. You didn't meet Jake and your other friends till after you were diagnosed, in the hospital actually.

You trudged through the rain, a wool cap covering your fully shaven head. You missed hair. You missed health. You were heading to Jake's, right after your doctor's appointment. You did this every so often, but only did it in bad weather if things were getting bad. And indeed they were.

Your younger brother texted you, telling you that you needed to get the fuck back home. But, like the prick you are, you ignored it and kept walking. Roxy tried to call you, and once again you ignored it. Hell, even Jane tried to get a hold of you. You didn't stop, and kept walking, the tears streaming down your face blending into the cold, cold rain.

You finally reached Jake's apartment building, walking in. You waved to the receptionist like always. It was Rose, one of your brothers friends. You took the elevator up to the 4th floor. You walked to Jake's door, knocking on it carefully. Jake answered it quickly, pulling you inside.

"Are you mad?! Dirk it is pouring outside and no one has been able to reach you!" He ran to get a towel, coming back and starting to dry you off.

"Jake-"

"What if something happened?! You can't do stuff like this any more, you're much too stick!" 

"Jake."

He shook his head. "This is so idiotic, Strider. I can't believe you would do th-"

"JAKE!" Your voice cracks, tears starting to pour down your cheeks again. He stops, looking at you. His face slowly turns to worry.

"..... D-dirk? Love, what's wrong?? Why are you crying?" He asks, pulling you into a hug. You wrap your arms around him tightly.

"....... J-Jake.... It's... It's terminal.... I... I'm going to die..." You say softly. 

He looks at you, wide eyed. He starts to sob. "No. Nonono. Fuck, Dirk... No... You can't die... You can't fucking die..."

You look back at him, pulling the wool cap off your head. Without it on your paleness really showed, along with your now bonish like figure. ".... I... I'm too sick..." You mutter.

He shakes his head, pulling your wet jacket off of you. Your t-shirt was still a bit damp. He looked you over. "C'mon. Let's get you in the tub." He says, leading you to the bathroom and starting a warm bath. Jake English, the med student who gave you a sponge bath when you first met, still did his job well.

He walked over to you as the tub filled, pulling off your shirt. He let you take off your pants and boxers, as he gathered all your clothes to put into the dryer. When he got back he helped you into the tub. You were still fully capable of doing it yourself, but you knew arguing with Jake wouldn't help anything.

He sat beside the tub, ready to talk. It seemed you always thought better in warm places, and Jake knew this. You were from Texas after all. You took a deep breath. "Look at me, Jake.... Look what I've become..." You mutter.

He shakes his head. "What is it you think you are, Strider?"

You go silent. You think, and think, and think a little more. Finally, you come up with a answer. "I'm a useless sick kid. I'm to weak to do anything any more... Hell, Jake, you can almost see my ribs at this point."

He shakes his head again. "Stop that right now. You are not useless. You're far from it."

You look at him. "You must have a different definition of useless, Jake. I'm a freak. I know at this point you're only dating me out of pity." 

He looks up, tears forming in his eyes. "Dirk.... You don't actually think that, do you?"

You shrugged. "It would make sense. You'd get extra doctor credit around the hospital if you told them your boyfriend was a cancer riddled pr-"

"Stop that. Fucking stop that right now. I'm with you because I love you, Dirk. And I'm sure as hell not going to let you wither away in your own self pity thinking other wise." He snaps.

You shift a little in the water, having never heard him say things like that. You try to say something, but he's already started talking again. "And don't you try to pull the 'you're just saying that' card. Honest to whatever god is running this sick game, I love you. You're not going to die. I'm not letting that happen. There's too much I want to do with you."

You raise an eyebrow. "What... What kind of things?" You ask softly.

"I...." He started, but grew silent. "I want to marry you, Dirk Strider. And I plan on doing so. So, there's one reason not to die."

You crack a smile, starting to cry. Yet, you giggled as well. Jake looked at you, clearly confused. "D-Dirk...? Are you crying? W-why are you laughing too...?"

You look up, whipping your eyes. "Because only you, the brilliant and lovely Jake English, would ever say something so god damned cheesy yet so god damn true."

He smiles a little. "S-so... I take that as a yes?"

You nod. "Yes, Jake. I'd love to marry you."


	2. Spread

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things were going ok.  
> Key word is "were"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kill me haha
> 
> It's fun to write omgggg

One of the more interesting things in your life is Jake English. To be more specific, your fiancé. You have a some what dull life and consider yourself just another kid with cancer. Terrible story, but hey, it's not like you can change it. But when you're with Jake, that mentally seems to fade away. You feel like you're the one person in the world that matters to him. You feel special.

You pop back into reality as your little brother, Dave, gives you a playful punch in the arm. "Yo, jackass, c'mon. Jake's waiting for you." He mutters, walking off suposably to talk to Karkat, his own boyfriend of nearly a year now. You sigh, standing up and putting on your jacket and wool cap.

Jake is sat in his, or rather your shared truck out front. You walk out, quickly rushing into the passengers seat to escape from the rain. It seemed to rain a lot more often for some reason. Jake gave a slight giggle when you shut the door.

"Hello, dear." He says in a cheerful tone. Your roll your eyes, leaning over and giving him a quick peck on the lips before he started to drive, keeping one hand on the wheel and the other holding your hand.

You were going to the bi-weekly doctors appointment. You had pretty much gotten used to the routine. Same old comments about how you need to eat more, friendly yet awkward small talk with nurses, some of the little kids in the waiting room staring. Even after all this time those kids still got on your nerves. Hell, you're still barely an adult and you find yourself complaining to Jake, who's older than you by about a year and a half, about how "Kids these days aren't polite at all"

Whilst thinking about all this, you have made it to the hospital, and Jake has already gotten out and gone to your side, ready to help you if you needed it. You smiled weakly at him, already feeling quite tired as you stepped down. Jake was taller than you, just by about an inch, which gave him the advantage of holding you while walking without it being weird. He shielded you from most of the rain, and sat beside you near your favorite TV in the waiting room. They always played some sort of anime on it, which they rarely ever did at any other hospital you went to. You sighed, leaning on his shoulder.

"You alright, love?" He asks. You give a small nod. "Tired is all." You respond.

"You know darling, you've been getting tired a hell of a lot easier lately... I think they should run another P.E.T. scan...." He muttered. You scoffed a bit. "Jeez, Jake please calm down, the hopeful comments are too much for me to process.." You say sarcastically, earning a small giggle.

Once they finally brought you back to a room (not to mention without Jake, witch got on your nerves), the nurse started to do the typical small talk while checking your vitals thing. She made an odd face when checking your breathing, but said nothing. She wrote a few things down, giving a small, reassuring smile to you.

"So, Mr. Engl-" She starts, but you cut her off. "Strider. I'm not married yet." You say.

She nods again, giggling a little. "Alright, Mr. Strider. How have you been feeling lately?"

You sigh a little, rubbing the back of your neck with your hand. "Honestly, pretty shitty. I've been getting lost in thought a lot easier, and breathing has gotten extensively harder. I forget things really easily and have started to get tired quicker.." You say. She nods, writing another few things down.

"Ah, I see. I'll let your fiancé back while I talk to the doctor, yes?" She asks, as you nod a bit. She walks off, Jake coming in soon after her. He walks up to you, running a hand over your head as if you still had hair to brush away before kissing your forehead, and sitting on a chair near you.

"How'd it go?" He asks. You shrugged a bit. "I dunno. She just made a lot of weird faces at my breathing and how I was feeling." You mutter back, coughing into the sleeve of your jacket.

"Breathing?? Dirk, why didn't you tell me you were having problems breathing??" He asks. You shrugged a bit, slightly surprised at his small change in tone. He sighs a little, taking your hand. The nurse walked in again, followed by a doctor.

"Dirk Strider, correct?" He asked. You gave a small nod in response. 

"Ah. I would like to get a C.A.T. scan, as well as a P.E.T. scan today. My friend had picked up on a liquid like gurgle in your breathing." He said. You nodded again, this becoming a costomary response. Jake, however, gave a stern look.

"What do you mean liquid like?? Why the hell would there be liquid in his lungs??" Jake blurted out. You sighed, patting his hair to calm him down.

The doctor sighed. "There's a variety of reasons for it, Sir. Much to extensive more me to name off right here." Jake sighed at this face, laying his head on your lap as you kept patting his hair.

...

The scans went well. It had been a week since, and you were now being called in to talk about the results. You sat next to Jake in the small office, holding his hand tightly as your leg twitched. The doctor pulled up the results, putting them on the small TV on the desk. He started explaining the P.E.T. scan first.

"As you can see, sadly, the cancer has spread to your lungs, but gone no further. We intend on keeping it that way, and will be keeping you for a while for a drain and a treatment." The doctor said. Jake looked confused.

"A drain? What in gods name do you mean?" He blurted, the doctor pointing at the second scan. 

"A "drain" as we call it, as putting a tube in the patient's back that connects to their lungs. It drains excess fluid inside of them." He explained. Jake sat up more. "Excess flui- he's got fluid in his lungs??!"

The doctor nodded. "Yes. It's not nearly enough to become life threating, but enough to were we can drain it before it gets worse." 

Jake sighed, looking at you. You kept your head down, your face mostly hidden by your over sized hoodie. You were promised that it wouldn't spread. The fact that it had, and was now attacking yet another part of you that you required to do anything was killing you on the inside. 

The doctor left the room so you and Jake could talk. He quickly stood, pulling you up and sitting himself back down, swiftly pulling you onto his lap for a hug. You hugged him tightly, trying not to freak out.

"It'll be ok, Dirk.... I p-promise..." He muttered.

"............ I-I trust you..." You say back softly.

And you really did. You really trusted him.


	3. Enthusiasm

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jake preposes yet another idea.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A smol chapter because why not
> 
> Will probably post another tonight, because again, why the hell not.
> 
> I really like writing this for some reason ahhh

The sudden realization that shit has hit the fan was surprisingly not affecting you as much as it should've. After your drain and the extensive thoughts of mortality and your own existence over the past few days, you assumed your head just decided to go numb. You kept the straight face you always had, barely talked to Bro, especially not Dave. Jake was getting worried with your off putting acceptance of impending doom. He's with you in your room right now, holding your waist as you sit in his lap, watching over your shoulder as you play some stupid game on your phone.

"Hey... Dirk? Can I speak with you about something?" He asks. You nod, putting your phone down. 

"I've been thinking about it lately, and I believe I would be much more comfortable if you lived with me." He says quickly. You raised an eyebrow at him.

"Jake, you know my bro won't be coo-" You start, as he cuts you off. 

"He won't be a problem, love. I've already spoken with him about it." He says.

"But Dave-"

"Is planning to move in with Karkat." He finishes. You sigh, shaking your head. "Don't remind me..." You mutter.

"So, I take that as a yes?" He asks. You nod a little. "I suppose so, English." You respond in a cheerful tone. You rarely deviated from monotone at this point, so hearing you do just that made him smile like a damn idiot.

"Excellent!! C'mon, let's start packing your stuff!" He says. You giggle a bit, which makes his eyes go wide. 

"Easy there, tiger. When am I even moving in?" You ask. He thinks a moment.

"Tonight, of course." He responds cheerfully. You give another small chuckle, kissing him softly. "You are such a dork, English." You mutter.

"Yes, but I'm your dork." He says back. You nod, standing and grabbing a suit case. 

"And don't your forget that."


	4. Operation: Fuck everything.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things are getting worse and Dirk decides it's time for a road trip.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ahaha hoLY FUCK I LOVE THIS
> 
> CAN I MARRY MY OWN FANFIC  
> IM T R A S H   
> ITS LIKE CRACK TO WRITE  
> IM SORRY BUT  
> UGGGG

This certainly isn't what you had in mind when you moved in with Jake three days ago.

Not this. Not the blood, nor the heavy pain in your chest. Or the pounding on the bathroom door, Jake screaming at you to come out or at least let him in. You just stared at your hands, looking at all the blood. Feeling it slip down the side of your mouth. Smelling the crimson liquid like you would smell one of the stress relieving candles Jake put around the house. 

Jake pounded on the door. "Dirk!!! Dirk, let me in!! What's going on?!" 

You stay silent.

He kept going. "Dirk!!! Let me in or I'm breaking the door down!!!" 

You stay quiet, paralyzed in fear. You sit on the toilet seat, pulling your knees close to your chest. You hear footsteps, the lock jiggling. Jake bursts in, dropping the screw driver he used to pick the lock and rushing in front of you, kneeling down to see the blood on your face, the tears in your eyes. He says noting. He picks you up, putting a jacket around you and carrying you out of the building and to the truck that was parked half way down the road. He gently set you in the passengers seat, then rushed to the drivers side. He started it up immediately, driving as fast as he could.

The rest of the night was mostly just a blurr. You could've sworn at one point Roxy and Jane came to visit or something like that. You were pretty out of it due to pain killers and other medication. By the time you were actually able to see straight it was three a.m. You looked around the hospital room, seeing Jake asleep by the window. You had the sudden the urge to leave. Not urge, the need. You got up, ripping the IV out of your arm. You put your clothes back on, slowly walking out. You managed to sneak past the nurses, and got down to the lobby.

You rushed out, without a jacket or your wool cap. You got in the truck, starting it up. As you drove, you called Roxy.

"Hrm.... H-hello?" She answered in a sleepy voice.

"RoLo. Get some stuff together and be ready to go on a trip." You say. She makes a confused noise.

"Dirky? What the h- Does Jake know about this?" She asks. She sounds sober, which is good.

"No. We'll cross that bridge when we get to it." 

"Dirky, how did they even let you out of the hospital? You looked terrible when me and Janey came to see you." She says, getting out of bed and starting to get dressed.

"They didn't. I just left." You mutter. 

"WHAT??? Dirk, are you fucking insane?! You could d-" She starts. You cut her off.

"Don't, Roxy. Just be ready to go." You say sternly. She grumbles, hanging up.

You drive to her and Jane's apartment, where she's already waiting with a suitcase in hand. She hops into the passengers seat, as you start driving again.

"So, were we goin?" She asks. 

"Don't know." You answer.

"Got any money?" She asks again.

You nod, reaching over and opening the glove box, showing the stash of roughly $3,000 you kept inside. For emergency reasons. She sighs, closing it for you.

"Your being more irresponsible than me Dirky. And that's a god damn problem." She tells you. You simply roll your eyes at the comment, continuing to drive.

"So what, Is this like just, Operation Fuck Everything?" She asks. You shrug, nodding. "Yeah, I guess."

She didn't start questioning more until the sun was coming up. As soon as she started to open her mouth, you cut her off.

"Try to imagine your life without timekeeping, Roxy." You mutter.

"Um... What?" She asks.

"Exactly. You can't. You know the month, year, and day of the week. There's a clock on your wall," You reach over, tapping the dashboard clock. "One on the car dashboard. We have a schedule, a calendar for each day or week."

"Well... Yeah. Everyone does. What are ya gettin at, Dstri?"

You shake your head, the orange glow of the rising sun hitting your face. "No. Roxy, all around you timekeeping is ignored. Birds don't have clocks. A dog never stops to check his watch. Deer don't stress out over their next birthday. It's humans alone who chime the hour." You say.

She starts to say something again, but you cut her off. Your voice is shaky and quiet. "And it's because of this, that humans alone suffer from a paralyzing fear that no other creature does."

She's silent, looking right at you. "........ The fear of time running out... you're afraid of dying...."

You scoff, wiping tears from your eyes. "No shit, Lalonde. I'm fucking horrified. I'm constantly worried that when I'm gone, you're all gonna be relived. That you'll all be fucking happy that Dirk Strider, the burden has finally keeled over...." You mutter, more tears falling down your cheeks.

She's silent for a while. She's thinking, you can tell by the look on her face. "Dirk.... None of us want you to die.... Janey cried for three hours after visiting you last night.... Jake never looked up from your face... I never stopped talking to you, even though I know you couldn't understand."

She sighs, reaching over and taking your hand. "I know, I know it's hard, and it's painful. But I promise you, all three of us love you with all our hearts. Jake never stops going on about the wedding, and how spectacular he'll make it. Jane makes cakes in your favorite flavor and keeps them in the fridge, just incase she knows you need cheering up." She says, smiling at you.

You gave a small giggle. "I... I a-always wondered how she always randomly h-had crush soda cake ready at all times..."

She giggled. Her phone rang, as she saw Jane's caller ID on it. She answered it, putting it on speaker.

"Roxy?? Where are you??" She asks. Jake's worried ramblings can be heard in the background.

"I'm in the car with Dirk, why?" She responds. Jake's footsteps can once again be heard, getting closer.

"Dirk is with you?!?!" He shouts. You sigh. "Yes Jake, I'm here." You say softly.

"What in gods name are you doing?! Dirk is seriously sick and needs to come home!!!" Jane bursted out. Before Roxy can say anything you clear your throat.

"It was my idea, Jane. Roxy simply went along with what I said. We're only going to be gone for a week." You reply, crossing the next exit. You were now in some sort of small town.

Jake can be heard grumbling. "Dirk, come home right this instant." He demands.

"No, Jake. You're just going to lock me up in that stuffy hospital room again. That shit is getting claustrophobic." You say back.

"Dirk, that's bloody ridic-" He starts, but you reach over, clicking 'End call'. Roxy raised a eyebrow at you.

"What the fuck?" She asks, not so much mad as she is confused.

"Don't answer the phone again. If you have to, just call Jake and tell him Times Up. He'll get the message." You order.

She nods, putting her phone away and sitting forward again. And that, is how you started operation fuck everything.


	5. Three days later.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dirk needs to pull his shit together before he leaves.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Omfg.
> 
> God damnit.
> 
> I swear this-
> 
> This isn't what it looks like guys. I promise you.

Your first stop was a small roadside attraction, on the third day of driving. It had "house of fun" signs plastered all over the trees that lined the dirt road. Roxy looked around, clearly a bit skeptical of the place.

"Dirky, are you sure around this....? It looks like the entrance to some horror movie or somethin..." She muttered.

You look at her, scoffing. "Nonsense, RoLo. Where's your sense of adventure?"

She giggles, rolling her eyes. "You've been spending too much time with Jake.." She says playfully.

You pulled up, parking the car in front of the building. It had a lot of signs on the walls and roof, with various things on them. These things ranged from threats, directions, hell, a lot of them weren't even in english. There were no noticeable other cars around, which was a bit odd. You shrugged it off, starting to pull Roxy into the building. As soon as you walked in, the large door slammed shut. Weird, wing flapping like noises rang out, along with small chirps.

"Dirky... This is bad news..." She said. She then poked your chest. "This dust will fuck up your lungs even m-"

"Roxy. You can wait in the car if you want, but I'm gonna check this place out." You respond. She groans.

"Your a fucking ass hole, Dirk Strider."

"Yeah, what else is new?"

...

You searched around in the dark for quite some time. You were now in the basement, using your phone flashlight to check out old records. David Bowie, Queen, even The Breakfast Club Record was in there. You smiled a bit, dusting the dirt off an old Beatles record. You heard the big door open again upstairs, and slam back shut. You also heard familiar whispers upstairs, before Roxy started to walk downstairs.

"Dirk, Jake and Jane found us..." She muttered. You sigh, rolling your eyes as you put the record back. You follow her back upstairs like a little kid a about to be punished. As soon as you saw Jake you looked at the floor, knowing he'd either be pissed or get possessive. He first option being more probable.

He ran over to you, grabbing your shoulders and bending down to your height. "Dirk, do you have any idea what you're doing to yourself?!" He snaps.

"What the hell does it matter?! I'm just gonna die any way!!" You say back, feeling anger and fear boiling in your stomach. 

"Don't say that!! You know damn well you'll be o-" He starts. You jerk away from his hold, balling your hands into tight fists.

"I'll be what?!?! Ok?!? We all know I'm not gonna be ok!! I'm b-bleeding from my fucking lungs!! That's not ok!" You scream, your voice hitching.

Jane interrupts. "Both of you, knock it off!" She yells, Roxy quickly rushing to try and quiet her.

You cough, not having time to cover your mouth with your sleeve. It's hard to tell in the dark, but blood splatters out of your mouth, more coming up as you hunched over. Jake started to panic, rushing to you and picking you up.

"Thank you for the help girls. I need to get him the nearest emergency room." He says quickly, running out and putting you in the truck, setting Roxy's suitcase on the hood of Jane's car. He got in starting the car and looking at you.

"Seriously Dirk... What the fuck were you thinking?!" He asks. 

You simply look at him. "..... I wanted to make it up to Roxy before I d-die..... I wanna make it up to all of you... I figured she'd be the easiest to start with." 

He goes silent, as your eyes become heavy. It's getting immensely harder the breathe. The last thing you remember is Jake's hand on your chest, and him screaming. No matter how much he yelled, you heard nothing. It was just a loud ring, before a pitch black darkness took over your sight. And a unbearable, deafening silence.

Then, a light.


	6. Tick.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You might not have a loud enough voice to scream your apology.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No  
> Slay me  
> Kill me  
> Gah
> 
> Prolly another chapter tonight if ur lucky

You fought back. 

You used every, single bit of energy you had in your body to force yourself not to go into the light. Shocks and bursts of sparks would course through you every minute or so that you had been meticulously counting since it went dark. You could hear very, very faint voices. Your chest hurt like all hell. Your head was bounding, the migraine consuming all your thoughts. The minutes faded to hours. Hours went on to days. You lost count at that point. 

Then, it all went black again. The light was replaced by a new sort, one of the full moon coming in through a hospital window. The air seemed crisp. You gasped when your eyes opened, your hands balling up once again. You felt someone holding you. Turning your head, you found Jake, his face nuzzled into your neck as he whimpered. His arms were around your waist, and a small and fuzzy orange blanket was over the both of you. 

You leaned into his arms, patting his head softly. He stirred awake, surprised to see your eyes open. When he did, he lost it. He sat up, pulling you onto his lap and holding your waist again, proceeding to kiss all over your face and jawline. You gave a smile, looking at him.

That's when you tried to talk.

And... Nothing came out. You tried again. Nothing. You held your neck, looking at him.

"T-t.... There's s-something w-wrong with your vocal cords, Dirk.... The... They t... Think... T-that the cancer spread to them..." He said softly. You became frantic, trying to remember what you had learned from Meulin, one of Roxy's friends that both you Jake and Jane had to learn sign language for.

"I can't speak?" You signed. He shook his head. 

"Dirk, I'm s-so sorry...." He says, cupping your face in his hands. You sniffle, starting to cry. He rubs his thumb over your cheek, kissing it before moving his hands around you. You put your arms around his neck, sobbing. He just held you, rubbing your back.

Clock is ticking. You're not ready.


	7. Confermation.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You don't wanna forget.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm bad at writing
> 
> Fuck it
> 
> I writing this
> 
> Sorry for your heart

Every single ounce of energy you've got is being used to keep breathing. They're hooking up some sort of thing that will give you oxygen through your nose. You already looked bad enough with your stupid fucking bald head, and now you get to drag around this god damn oxygen tank. The more you think about it the tighter your hands ball up. And the more you start to forget about breathing. Your gasping at this point. Jake rushes in front of you, kneeling in front of the chair you sat in.

"Dirk, Dirk it's alright. Calm down. Focus on breathing..." He tells you, putting a hand on your cheek. You avoid looking him in the eye.

"Dirk. Look at me." He says. You keep your eyes away.

"Dirk. Look. At. Me." He says again, more sternly. You lock eyes with him and put your hands on his cheeks, pressing your forehead to his and giving a shaky breath.

"It'll be ok, Dirk... I love you, ok?" He says. 

"I love you to." You sign, still keeping one hand on his beautiful face. You run your fingers over his nose, his eyes, his lips. You make sure he's still there.

That you're not just dreaming. 

He gives a small smile to you, kissing your forehead and sitting in front of you. You play with his hair, calming down quite a lot. Though, they make him move to put that thing up your nose, and situate it over your ears. They turn on the oxygen, and ask you how it is. You take a deep breath, that being the first actually good breath of air you'd gotten in a long time. You give em a thumbs up, smiling weakly. Jake helps you stand, as a nurse knocks on the door. Everyone clears out except for you and Jake.

She walks in, a horrible look in her face. She gives a heavy sigh. "Sir.... We have some bad news.." She says. Jake looks at the worried look in your eyes, biting his lip.

"Well...? What is it then?" Jake's voice sounded so tired. It was hushed, and the grip he had on your hand was tight.

"His disease has started to deteriorate his brain.... H-He'll start losing memory of people close to him, and completely forget people he hasn't seen in a while... Hopefully we'll be able to get it under control before it breaks down his ability to do simple tasks." She says.

Your entire body brakes. You start to fall back. Jake catches you, holding you tightly. He's got tears rolling down his cheeks. The nurse understands you want to be left alone, and walks out of the room. You collapse into Jake's arms, sobbing and holding onto him.

"..... I don't wanna forget you..." You sign. He holds you by your waist, his face buried in your neck. 

"I.... I w-want to marry you... Tonight, when you get out of here... W-we'll invite Roxy, and Jane... It'll be just us four...." He says softly. You nod, kissing his cheek and jawline. 

He keeps you close for the rest of the morning in the hospital. Once you signed the discharge papers, they let you leave. Jake lead you to the car, helping you into the passengers seat. He lifted your oxygen onto the floor in front of you, before closing your door and walking to the drivers side. Once he was in he started the car, calling Jane. She answered quickly.

"Jake? What's wrong?" She asked. He gave a small smile holding your hand.

"Nothing's wrong Jane..... Or at least I can't tell you about it on the phone. There has been a slight change in plans for the wedding. It will be tonight, in that spot in the woods with the trees that form arches. Only tell Roxy, no one else." He says.

Jane sounds a bit confused. "Oh, alright. Would you like us to come over and help you get ready?" She asks.

"That would be lovely, Jane." He says.

...

Roxy helped you. She made you wear your suit, and tied a orange tie around your neck. She gave a smile to you, giggling.

"Y'know dirky, I never thought I'd be helpin you get ready to m-marry Jake while you were still 19." She says. You roll your eyes. She always liked to point out that you were the youngest of the group and Jake was the oldest.

"Heh... T-then again, I didn't think a lot of things would happen.." She starts to get choked up. You look at her, shocked that Roxy Lalonde was actually about to cry in front of you.

She hugs you tightly, giving a weak giggle through tears. "Y-you're so tall.... I... I'm g-gonna miss you, Dirky..." 

You shake your head a bit, whipping her tears. "Hey, hey... RoLa, it's gonna be ok. You're gonna be ok. I promise you, I'm not leaving you completely." You sign to her. You had all but accepted that you would die. It was inevitable.

She shakes her head a bit, grabbing your shades and pushing them on your face. "Wow. Dstri..... I-I'm gonna miss you, you dork." She says. You give a silent giggle, adjusting your shades around your nose tube. 

Once you heard the door open and close, you knew Jane had taken Jake already. He wanted that "Bride doesn't see the groom before the wedding" thing, but with two grooms. You waited another ten minutes before going with Roxy, riding in that minivan of Janes.

...

Getting out of the car was when the realization hit you. You were getting married. You pushed down any bit of nervousness you felt, when you saw Jake standing at the arch, talking to Jane. When he realized you were there, he smiled and stood straight up. Roxy linked arms with you, starting to walk you toward him like she was walking you down the aisle. You took a deep breath as you pulled your oxygen along. The forest smelled of damp grass and firewood. You loved that smell. You loved everything about this moment.

Roxy unlinked her arm from yours at the arch. Standing behind you. Jake took your hand instantly, smiling at you. "You look lovely, dear." He says.

"You look even better." You sign to him. He really did. His hair was perfectly done, and his suit fit him perfectly. His freckles were slightly covered by his green glasses, and those amazing bright green eyes that you'd grown so overly in love with since you were 13. His crooked smile, the slight stubble on his chin. His perfect nose, thick eyebrows. He looked so perfect. You wanted to hold him and never let go.

"Go on then, start the vows!" Roxy says excitedly. Jake giggles quietly, nodding and taking out the ring.

"Dirk Martha Strider. My love, my friend, my everything. I... I k-know we're not perfect.. And we know how to push each others buttons." He's starting to choke up. "B-but, for every fight there's a night I get to hold you. For every glare there's a "I love you". I... I p-promise I'll always be here. No matter how sick you get... No matter I-if you forget things... I'm always going to love you, and hold you, and protect you. D-Dirk Martha Strider, I marry you in full confidence, and without any hesitation. I give you my trust, my life, and everything in between." He says, sniffling and slipping the ring on your finger.

You smile shakily, taking the ring in one hand, and using your other to sign. "Jacob English. I promise to be with you, to love you. You are the air that I breathe, the blood that pumps through my veins. I promise to cherish you as you are. A person. A friend. My partner. My equal. No matter what. I've loved you since we met on that chat website... I'll keep loving you until I breathe my very last breath. Jacob English, I'm yours. And with this ring," You slip the ring onto his finger, starting to sign with both hands. "I bind my life to yours."

Jane's crying, wiping her eyes. Jake is too, but he's more so just sniffling excitedly. Roxy smiled through her own tears. "N-now kiss, you dorks." She says, as tears start to roll down your cheeks. He puts his hands on your cheeks, pulling you closer. He gently kisses you, as you wrap your hands around his waist.

The girls cheer, as you pull away from the kiss, you and Jake both start giggling, clinging to each other. Your love. Your now husband. You were beyond happy.

...

When you got home, you sat with Jake in bed. You started to fidget with your hands, biting your lip. He looks over at you, taking one of your hands and squeezing it. 

"I know what you're thinking... We don't have to if you don't want to." He says, giving a small smile. You smile back, nodding a little.

"Maybe tomorrow... I.. I wanna enjoy being your husband without that for tonight." You sign. He nods, pulling you close and nuzzling you, settling in for a night of cuddles.

You spend the rest of the night clinging to him, signing and telling each other everything you loved about one another. And..

It was perfect.


End file.
